Due to distrust of children, resulting in delayed treatment of children!How important it is for parents to trust their children
A nine-year-old girl caught up with her homework and suddenly couldn’t see clearly. Her parents thought she was faking it and delayed her visit for nearly a week. As a result, the girl’s vision had been seriously reduced.Watching what happened to the girl, I could only let out a sigh. If parents could give their children more trust, such things would not happen.Parents’ trust is very important to children during their growth.China Youth Research Center, has done about the “status quo and expectation of learning and life” survey, the results show: children like their parents most of the 10 practices, ranked the first, is “trust me” can have many parents, to do the trust of their children?Some parents like to make decisions for their children and do everything for them.Perhaps the parents’ intention is good, hope that children take detours, make fewer mistakes, reluctant to bear hardships for children.But this behavior is actually control in the name of love, but also distrust of the child.Don’t trust that they have their own ideas, their own judgments, and can do something well.Children who grow up in such an environment are likely to develop a fragile and insecure character.Because parents do everything, so that children do not have the opportunity to make their own choices and decisions, think law is often suppressed, will produce a sense of powerlessness, to their own ability will be more and more not confident.Some parents may not mean words, will suppress the child’s confidence.For example, if the child doesn’t do well, the parent says, look, you can’t do without me.In this way, is not the child in the heart of their own do not do good seeds?Psychologist Hadfield said, “People with confidence can exert more than 500 percent of their potential, while people without confidence and low self-esteem can only exert 30 percent of their ability.”However, a child’s confidence is not innate, but developed from an early age.Whether children are confident or not is closely related to their parents’ attitudes and education methods.Parents who trust their children can give them more confidence.There are also some parents, like to use their own empirical cognition or the child’s past behavior, to determine the child’s present behavior, and draw the conclusion that the child is lying.This kind of distrust is poison, destroying the relationship between parents and children.For example, in the previous news, the girl’s parents must have heard of some children getting sick to avoid doing homework before, or the girl had done it before.So, when the child says it’s hard to see, the immediate response is that the child is lying.And the fact that the child is not lying, you can imagine what kind of psychological impact that would have on the child.Will she ever be able to trust her parents who don’t trust her?A teacher once made a survey in dozens of schools: “When there is a danger in your life, when there is a problem that is difficult to deal with, who will you turn to first?Surprisingly, fewer than 7 percent of children are the first to think of asking for help.”Why do so many children no longer trust their parents?Because parents deny and doubt every time they don’t care, every time they accuse and humiliate indiscriminately, every time they ignore and respond coldly, they will draw a deep crack in the heart of the child, until the child is cold, desperate, no longer want to be close to their parents, and no longer believe in their parents.I have seen a piece of news that makes people sad, a six-year-old girl went to play with her father at the construction site, because she accidentally triggered the air gun, the steel nail directly stabbed into the chest.Since there was no blood at that time, the child did not tell his father for fear of being blamed. He did not go to the hospital until the pain became unbearable in the evening.It turned out that the nail was only 26 millimeters from the heart, and any more force would have killed the child.They say love is based on trust, but for this six-year-old girl, she would rather endure pain and risk her life than tell her parents that she had pierced a steel nail.It shows that in her heart, she has begun to distrust her parents. It can be imagined that most of the time when she communicated with her parents, their feedback must be blame and doubt.I believe that most parents love their children, but there are too many tragedies from the distrust of parents.J. Joyce, American psychologist”The best proof of love is trust, and trusting each other is the best kind of love for your kids,” Blazes said.Every more you trust your child, the more love your child will feel and the more energy it will have to move forward.You have to believe that every trial and error of your child is a growth, so do not give your child too much bondage, only believe that he can do better.Have you ever been distrusted by your parents?If so, how did it feel?